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Gotcha
Times
Journalist Anthony Browne named Prat of the Year by LTDA
By Steve McNamara
Immediately
following publication of Anthony Browne's offensive article, the
LTDA lodged a protest with the Press Complaints Commission. It
was then decided the the charming Mr Browne would benefit from a
taste of direct taxi trade action.
 Posing
as a Ministry of Defence mole, and following a carefully
prepared script, I rang Mr Browne in his capacity as the
Environmental Editor of the Times. I informed dear Anthony that
I was very concerned about the regular secret flights into
Northolt Aerodrome of unmarked transport planes, carrying highly
unstable nuclear waste from the reprocessing plant at
Sellafield.
I convinced him
that this activity constituted a serious threat to anyone living
within 20 miles of the flight path. I couldn't believe my luck
when he started gagging for the story and readily divulged his
mobile telephone number, urging me to come back to him as
quickly as possible with further information.
We agreed a code
name or "Mr X" and over the course of the next few weeks we
spoke on a number of occasions, during which I escalated the
story to a ridiculous level. I could feel the excitement in his
voice when I dropped my final bombshell - the next flight into
Northolt would coincide with a time when the Queen was scheduled
to fly out.
"That's
unbelievable", said Anthony, and he was right, because I had
just made it up! In my guise as "Mr X" I lured our gullible
journalist to Pratt Street, Camden Town, with the promise of
flight manifestos and full details of the Queens exposure to the
nuclear risk.
Doing my best to
look the part, I dressed up as a follicly challenged Michael
Caine, attired in my best Harry Palmer raincoat. I gave Mr
Browne short notice of the meeting and he duly cancelled all his
appointments on the day, in order not to miss his opportunity of
a lifetime. To ensure that I would be able to recognise him, it
was agreed that he would walk up and down with a copy of the
Times poking out of his briefcase!
Following a warm
handshake, I directed the ever gullible Anthony straight into
the arms of the waiting LTDA hit squad led by General Secretary
Bob Oddy who duly presented him with his "Prat of the Year"
certificate, accompanied by a rapturous round of applause from
the attending Santa's, much to the delight of Camden's passers
by. I wonder how long it will be before the cab shelters and
cafes resound to the cry "I had that dopey journalist in
the back of my cab"
Read Anthony
Browne's mythical article by
clicking here
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PRAT
OF THE YEAR
It is hereby bestowed and confirmed that the Licensed taxi
Drivers Association on behalf of London's hackney carriage
drivers honours
MR ANTHONY BROWNE
with The Prat Of The Year Award 2002.
This honour is in recognition of the aforementioned
contribution to appalling, clumsy journalism. Whereby on the
17th October 2002 in the London Times he scribed an exotic
piece entitled "I had that greedy white bloke in the front
of my cab". It is a truly wondrous achievement that such a
malevolent work of fabrication was completed with scant
reference to any truth or actuality
Awarded this 3rd day of December 2002
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